From laboratory to farm: a scientist’s visit to the local herb farm | On the Brain

From laboratory to farm: a scientist’s visit to the local herb farm | On the Brain

This is some really awesome stuff that is going on. I wanted to look further into what natural medicine can do for the body. Perhaps this could give me an idea of where I can go in the near future.

Honestly, I am so bad at words. Something crossed my mind today. It had to do with one's worth. I thought about my mom. She's so hardworking that I feel like I'm unrelated to her in so many ways. God, I don't think I know or understand who you are. In this time, I would mistaken you for a God who is too far away for me to talk to, or befriend. I really would like to know You better. I don't want to make my mom or other people around me sad. But I am very difficult.

Be lifted high. Our world be lifted high.

A New Chance with a New Guy?

Dear God,

I really like this guy named Jesse, and I hope that I made the right decision for him to know. I enjoyed the fact that he likes me too. What's more interesting is that it seems like he liked me first. In the beginning, I was really interested in him, because of his appearance. I think that he is a good-looking guy. What is sweet is that he thinks the same about me.

The only problem is that I do not have consistent beliefs about myself. I would see my reflection in the mirror, but sometimes I focus more on the scars than I do on the general exterior surface of my face. I am not comfortable with my skin condition. I suffered too much throughout the years to feel good under my own skin. I want to change that though. In a way, I hope that this guy can help me. I don't want to expect him to, but I am hopeful that meeting someone new could do that.

He's a seriously sweet guy, and I cannot ask for a better guy friend. I still do not know him that well. I do not believe that texting all the time can give us the upper hand of getting to know one another. However, it is still a useful tool for communication. I find myself attracted to him, and often yearning to see or hear from him.

This is where I become a little miserable, because I tend to think about my father. I wonder if I am so obsessive about people that I like due to my desire for feeling wanted. Most of my life, I have felt so rejected by people. They probably do not think about their actions, but it still affects me. I think and tend to overthink a lot. I do not yet know how to control myself. However, I am trying to work with what I have so far.

Honestly, I wanted to know if my feelings for this new guy in my life to be real. I wanted to believe that what I feel is not something that I fantasize. I thought that I could just forget about him, or let him go, but I realize that every time he would text me with his words, I would smile. I like him. I would say that my fondness for him is growing. That makes me happy. I do not know if he is the right guy for me, but he makes me smile. I wish I could keep making him smile and laugh all the time. I'm sure that that it is not realistic, but I only wish that he has happiness in his life.

Our lives are too short to complicate it with dishonesty, distrust, hurt, sadness, hatred, and jealousy. If he is not interested in me anymore, I would have to accept that. I hope that I can. I hope that I will know what to do around him. I tend to complicate things and am still confused. I want to seem strong before him, but it might appear that I am cocky. Then I would switch over to wanting to be silly to reveal my true nature. I am silly by nature! I cannot help that. But I can be overboard with how I talk to people. Still, he tells me that he has patience. I hope his patience will be strong enough for me.

I hope to also learn to be more patient. I do not want to live an unrealistic life. I want to be able to live in the present moment, too.

In any case, I'll continue to focus on myself in order to build myself to be stronger.

Thank you for becoming my friend. Thank you so much for expressing your thoughts and communicating them with me! I feel so happy already to know that you can do that and be open.

Thank you, God, for allowing him to be in my life. I feel so lucky. Maybe he is my second chance at love. Maybe. I don't want to wish too hard, because I would like for you to reveal your plan to me.

Your Daughter,
A-Nam

To Joseph Song

Dear Joseph,

I never got to really know you. I only met you in person. We said hello but that was about it. I never knew what to talk to you about, because I knew your girlfriend more than I did you. Today has been a really sad day having learned that you have passed away. I honestly never know how to respond when people tell me that someone has passed away, and especially someone so young. I cannot believe what I  have heard with my own ears. You're so young! You're actually my age.

Life is quite short, isn't it? We never know when we could be ripped away from our loved ones. At this time, I want to share my thoughts now before I forget how I feel. When I spoke to your girlfriend, I was disturbed. I am concerned for Candice. She loves you. You two were always together and having a good time. Sometimes, I wanted to spend more time with Candice, but you were always around. I'm glad you had more time with her now. I'll do my best to keep her company and help her if she wants it.

Thanks for your smiles and sweetness. I'm certain that you were a wonderful friend, son, and boyfriend.

Take care and keep smiling why don't you. :) I hope to get to know you better one day. I'm glad to have at least met you.

I've copied something from your Facebook page. I hope you won't mind. I think that the poem is beautiful.

"Sweet Dreams is what I get when I think of you

Your pretty eyes glows like the stars

I can even seem them from afar

Your beautiful face shines like the moon

It lights the way and it will never fade

For even when you grow old and saggy

With Skin touching the floor like never before

I will always feel your beauty down to my core

So baby! I promise to love you forevermore."