Anxious, intimidated, uneasy. I don't want to do any more work is how I feel at this point in time, even though I know that I should. It's a burden to know what I'm supposed to be doing at this moment and not really living up to it. I'm pretty sick and tired of feeling so stressed out because of some exam and quizzes. I just want to be able to study and study enough so that I know things and won't have to worry about it so much in the future. It really all depends on what it is that I should be doing right now. I think that I should at least get started on the Cell Bio since it is more of my fear on how I do in that class. I keep thinking about the numbers, when in reality, I have been wanting to give it up so that I won't have to stress the frick out. Really. What is the point of stressing out about numbers? (Seems like my friend, Oliver, has been influencing me a lot. Hm. Well, I don't believe that it's such a bad influence, because he's allowing me to see past the things that I am seeing.
I have to continue to try my best. The reason why I stop? Well, it's because I keep thinking that I don't understand and will never be able to understand so just give up now. I think I'm starting to see what I like and what I do not like. It seems to me that I don't like to remember things only. I want to be able to understand things and see through to it that I can "solve" them. Geez, haha. Medicine is all about memorizing. Of course there is a part of understanding that needs to take place, but man... I just wonder if I can make it through all of that. Well, right now I'm still very much interested in Cell Bio, but Genetics is kicking my behind. This class is like meatballs falling out of the sky. It's all really interesting stuff, but so difficult to visualize. AH!
BLEH. Whatever. Time to go back to studying, I hope. LOL. Yeah..... I just wanted to write that much. Hope the stress has been lifted off just a little bit. Anything would help at this point.
I'm also listening to music. It's kind of distracting. I think I should study without it.
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