But anyway, I've just finished playing tetris. I love that game. There's something about it that attracts me, and I can play for a pretty long time if I don't know how to stop myself. I've been thinking, though, that perhaps the reason why I love the game is because there is a bit of a surprise whenever a block begins to fall down, and sometimes you have to be quick on where you would like to place them all. It's like you already know what to expect, since there are only a few number of shapes in which you are very familiar with. Interestingly enough, however, every game turns out different. Some games could take longer than the other; while there are still others which frustrates you and you just want to quit... but that's not the truth. Eventually, you do want another chance. Again, you hit the "start" button.
All of us are looking for chances--whether it would be second, third, fourth, and even fifth chances in life--and we all need it. If not, then how could we possibly think of changing? It would suck to see everyone and everything around us change, while we only remain where we are with our bad habits and unlikable attitude towards the world. I don't believe that people cannot change, because I just can't. I want to change, and no one can stop me from doing that. I've been unclean for so long. It's time to get better.
The more time that I spend in school, the more that I learn about my surrounding environment. I couldn't have seen the things that I do now without having been exposed to it in school. I feel that as college students now, it might be the only time to experience all the things that you wish you could as adults.
The other day, I walked downtown and saw a woman with four children. She is Hispanic, and she has two younger daughters and a son who were all around the ages of seven to ten years old (I'm just estimating); she also has another baby which she carried wrapped around her back with some form of cloth in order to hold onto the baby. The cloth was knotted right in front of her chest and the baby was cramped up inside it from behind. I wonder.. when people look at her and her children, do they pity her? Do they want to even help her? Do they look down on her? Do they laugh inside their heads? Do they disagree?
Oh yes. They disagree alright. Everyone stares at the woman and her children. She's so noticable. But as I look at her, she hardly cares about what other people think or how they look at her. She doesn't even have the energy to really think (or really notice as I did!) about how other people might view her. But I'm sure everyone has gone through bad situations before, and sometimes we have the majority of the people look down on us with disapproval. But there's something about this situation which makes me think..
I met another young man who is a college student at Princeton University studying Biochemistry, I think. He was talking to his group of Christian friends and since I was around, I ended up listening to his story. He inquired help or ways in which he should be approaching other people who taunt the Christian beliefs. The young man feels hurt that he spends most of his time around people who mock his beliefs, and joke about it--even if they are his friends, and they don't seem to understand or give him much respect. Most people tend to see that science and religion are two separate spheres that do not technically come together and that they should remain separate. Science people look at religion and how it explains the world to be inferior to the "living" proof of fossils for evolution to chemical and technological advances. Then, another person within the group decides to speak up and say that, "Well, Jesus talk to fisherman about fish, and shepherds about sheep...."; what he means is that sometimes we need to use science to explain to man about God and his works. After all, did not God create the universe with his own mighty hands? This makes him the absolute engineer of the universe. A third friend spoke up and says "No, I don't believe that you can use science to talk to man about God--I just can't see that happening". I think I would have to agree with the third person, because even though Jesus was using metaphors to describe Heaven and earth, many people could not understand him--sometimes not even his own disciples--until it was clarified to them. I think that whatever you are good at or specialize well in, use it to help yourself communicate better with other people. After all, you know what you know best. However, when it comes down to teaching others about God and compassion, I feel like talking is doable but it's only a part of what we can do to reach out to others. Something that strikes as important to me is the belief that there is hope for change. I believe in second chances, because I want and am in need of a second chance. Through this, I know that everyone needs it.
God allows it to be that once you receive the Holy Spirit, or the giver of life, you should allow it to manifest in all of your ways, and in all that you do. In this manner, you can reach people, no matter what race, background, beliefs, territory--it doesn't matter. I'm saying that instead of reaching people by words only, show and maintain it through your works everywhere that you go so that you can keep yourself whole, while allowing others to see that there is hope.
Did you know that we each give each other hope? I personally see my friends, my family, and the people around me to be a design of hope. I think about people in general, because I know that I do see the good and the bad things about life. But those things I cannot control, and the only thing that I can control are my own reactions.
About the woman with four children, I looked at her and her children. I was deepened with sadness, and I had to look towards the sky. I really couldn't bear to look at the way people viewed each other. I mean, if that was my mom I was looking at, I would want to help her, you know? I can't just neglect the way she is... She's my mom. These children of hers are so young, and they cannot understand, but I feel like she's been blessed with good children. They listen to their mom and they hold hands when she tells them to. I can see the worry on her face as she makes sure that none of them gets left behind, so that they can remain by her side. That's quite a lot of burden to take on oneself. I had to ask her in broken Spanish if she works. She said no. I then asked her if she has a husband, she tells me yes. So I inquired what he worked as. Of course, I couldn't understand much, because my Spanish is pretty limited to a certain amount of vocabulary. But what I gathered was that her husband probably helps to fix the road. Nevertheless, I don't know if anyone can make that great of an income to support a wife and four children. After all, she speaks no English and was waiting at the bus stop near the train station.... I ended up giving her some money and went my way.
To the friend who is afraid of others' judgments on his beliefs, I wish I could tell him that there is no need to. Everyone judges. I've been trying hard not to judge, but I still find myself doing it.
Makes me smile, though, because with every mistake, and with every hardship that I go through (and that everyone goes through) I feel like it just brings us closer to God. We just have to allow for it to happen. We have to give ourselves a chance. Every life deserves a chance to break through. Amen.
