Why do we fear so much?

I have been thinking because I cannot sleep. As my sister is laying in the bed sleeping away, I am sitting here on my bed wondering if I can stop doing what I am doing. God, my heart is still fragile and weak. I seek in you that confidence, love, and strength. I am wasting energy because I don't want to turn the light off. I want to keep distracting myself. I went on facebook and went through my friend list and decided to comment on each of the pages that I think I would like to keep my friendships with. I admit it. I am afraid. I am fearful. I have to do something about it. Can I face my fears?

There's something that is troubling me very much. That is my imagination. It can either help me or hurt me. The weird thing about it is that I'm not sure if I know how to use it to my advantage for this moment in time. A lot of times when I am troubled, I always come running to my mom. But then what happens when there is no mom or if someone else is in trouble, should I simply run away? In my right of mind, I don't want to. Yet I'm sinking deeper into the depths of uncertainty. This is where my imagination gets ahold of me and I am struggling hard to seek the deeper relationship with God but cannot seem to get there. God, I know that you are present everywhere. I just cannot see you, but I have felt your love before. I have felt your grace on me. It was truly a blessing.

God, I want you in my heart. I want to follow your son's footsteps, but I'm so clueless... I feel like the child that must hold someone's hands because she still is not sure which way to go and when to step forward. If I can suspend my imagination, I can suspend that creation of fear. I want to let you in, so I must first open the door to welcome you into my hearth. Please, Lord, bless me with your teachings, your ways. I want very much to be a part of your world.

One of my hopes for this new year is that I will become more stable mentally and emotionally. In this way, I won't over-react the way that I used to, or crawl back to my helpless ways.