A Revelation

Yesterday was probably one of the greatest days of my life. I got to talk to my dad without feeling anything against him. I see that as an accomplishment, because I want to look forward to building my relationship with him. I am certain that that's what I want now. At least I want to show him that I won't give up on him as his daughter--that he's still my father. 

I have decided that when I get my phone (because the one that I broke like a month or so ago), I will get a cheap one or one that will not be too sophisticated. I realized how involved we become with our phones and it's interesting to finally realize that business people do exploit human being's curiosity and basically their human nature. Instinctively, we are impressed by flashing lights, and buttons that lead to rewards (such as play station games where you are having fun). After having lived without a phone for a month, I believe that I can start a simple life--one that won't create too much chaos for me. In addition, though the world may be changing, we don't have to change completely with it. We could change, however, innately. It's a choice that we all can make. So, my dad will probably give me the 100 dollars to replace my phone (which before I had an iphone 3gs) but I'll probably spend some of the money on the phone. The rest will stay in my pocket so that whenever I'm hungry I'll use that money! Being in college in general can really take a lot of out you as you suffer from over-studying and under-eating. I haven't asked much from my dad, and I was glad that he could agree to give me that amount of money. Well, I guess I will get to see how things should work out with my new phone. I'm ready to experience and try it out! I'll probably report it back on my blog....like after the school year ends, I think.

What I actually wanted to get at was my so-called "revelation". I never saw this before, but I guess because of my woosh of thoughts, I believe I have come to finally see that the Ten Commandments are so, incredibly important. First of all, it IS proof of God's love. Why? I'll tell you why. If you can think of Him as your Father, you will understand where I'm coming from. Parents give us restriction out of love. Wouldn't you agree? Of course you could disagree, but parents usually want the best for their children so they impose rules. How about the government? Okay, I could say the same thing. The government wants people to follow a set of regulations so that things become more orderly, and usually it's for the sake of society. There are some good implications to laws. Well, back to the Ten Commandments. Do you believe that He loves you? Perhaps some of you might not think so or are too uncertain to agree at the moment. For me, I believe that He loves me. The reason is that He could condemn us just because we are sinners. However, the opposite occurred. He brought the Ten Commandments (which appeared from the story of Moses going up to the mountain and coming down with the stone plaques with His words written on them) so that there would be order. I believe that it is for our sake, because He loves us. When we choose to follow it, we start to see the good things of life. 

For example, something that has given me hope was the commandment of "honoring my parents". I didn't understand how to "honor" them or even if I did, why should I bother? Do I even need to? I think that the answer is, yes. Who do you believe that it would benefit more when you actually learn to honor your parents? Will it be your parents or you? From experience, I say that it is me; my parents will only benefit on the side. I chose to honor them through my actions and my words, and it has helped me to build my character. I respect them more, and I think about them more. Not only that, but I see it as a rewarding experience where I get to understand better the meaning of love. Before, I could tell you that I knew nothing of love. I didn't have love in my life. My parents did not understand the meaning of it either. What is that word that you keep hearing people say to each other all the time whenever they like someone--LOVE.. love?.... I love you... Do you? 

We've come from a world that knows of the existence of love, but unfortunately not all can experience the beauty of love. The other day, I was in the car with a bunch of friends. One of my friend was contemplating about love and how it sucks. Okay, yes, there are sucky "love", but there is a wonderful beauty to love too. I feel that the Ten Commandments will help you find true love--whether that would be with your spouse, friends, parents, sisters, brothers, or strangers. 

Love is so powerful. I remember that when I was sitting on my bed (this was during my freshman year on the livingston campus) and I felt empty. I didn't understand what I was missing. I had a gap in my heart. I felt that my father did not love me; I felt that my mom could not understand me; I felt that my friends cannot be there for me; I felt that relationships were dissatisfying. When I thought that I was drowning in sadness and that feeling of emptiness, I began to feel love. This was after I cried out to Him. I said that I wanted Him in my life and that I need Him. I don't know how to describe to you what really happened, but I began to feel. Tears flowed from my eyes. It was a blessing moment, because understood then that His love is everlasting and unconditional. That was what I was looking for even if it was unconsciously. I wanted that unconditional love. I wanted people to not reject me anymore simply through my actions; I wanted people to see me for me; I wanted to know that I will have a second chance no matter how many mistakes that I make. I wanted to be happy, and I thought only real love could suffice. 

With at least knowing a bit about love and starting that part of my life with Him, I know that through Him I can begin to manifest my own love. I don't believe that this sort of thing is something that you can keep or hold in and selfishly say that only you can have love. No. It's much more powerful than that, and it will spread like the ocean waves. It will carry people and help them stay afloat the currents. They will know love. If this is the case, then why not build this shelter together? We are all human beings who will have their darkest moments in life, but this does not mean that anyone should stand through everything on their own. Look to your right. Now look to your left. Who do you see? More faces; more lives; more stories. We need to do this together.

I want to add that He has helped me greatly through my personal concerns and daily turmoils. I wish that He will do the same for you, even if you do not believe in Him. I hope that you will know love when you finally experience it. If you don't, I'd like to help you out if I can. I'd like to be your friend. I really want to see people happy and for them to find the support that they need whenever they are feeling down. 

You don't need to take my word on anything that I say, but see for yourself what the Ten Commandments might mean. Understand who sent it down to earth and perhaps why in the world we would need them in the first place.